Friday, October 7, 2011

Writing a Good Hook

Authors Note: This is my hookk that I wrote. You had to include an 80 year old man named Leroy wearing a speedo with the setting of the kitchen sink. The conflict had to be someone falling out of a wagon.
 
"Hahahaha, Grandpa Leroy! Grandpa Leroy! Watch me in my wagon!"
"Hold on sonny I'm givin' myself a bath in the kitchen sink! I'm comin'!" I swear that little kid is growin' faster than a bean sprout! I'm so glad I bought 'em that little red wagon; he's been playin' in it since the minute I gave it to him. 
"Ahhhh! Owch!"
"What is it sonny?"I see  little sonny sittin' on the ground crying his eyes out. Must've fallen and gotten a boo boo.
"Ima' comin'!" Little sonny is still balling his eyes out-he must've really hurt himself. So I start to run faster than a Nascar Racecar in the Daytona Five Hundred! Suddenly, I hear the neighbor kids pointin' and laughing at little sonny. When I get to his side  I see that the neighbors are laughin' at me 'cuz I'm wearin' my speedo!

2 comments:

  1. This is a lot of great voice and dialogue in this piece. Beginning a story with dialogue can be an effective tactic, but consider the format of an introduction paragraph. Might there be a way you could give us the same information as a narrative in order to lead your reader to your hook?

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  2. I like it! It's funny, but one quick thing- you used the wrong "balling." It should be "bawling." I really don't think you meant the word that you used. :)

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